No, not a 'whale ship' .. a 'well ship'

Papa: "What is this, Son? "

Son: "You guess.. "

Papa: "A ship? "

Son: "No, a well ship"

Papa: "A whale ship?"

Son: " No.. no... its a 'well' ship"

Papa: "What does a well ship do? "

Son: "You see.. the water in the sea is salty.."

"So, the well ship carries water for other ships to use. It goes to other ships and gives them water"

Papa: "hm.. cool! .. Where is the well ... water "

Son: "Its inside the ship.. can't you see all the blue stuff inside ? "

It's ok, amma ...

Nishu is probably the dreamiest kid I've ever seen so far. He's dreaming pretty much ALL the time. In his last school, it took a few months for his teacher to get used to it - all the initial yelling only served to scare him, but not change him.

Yesterday, yet again, he'd come back from school not having done any of his school work. Most of his pages were empty/or just had one half written line on them.

And he got a good bit of yelling from his mom during homework time - for not paying attention again.

Finally when the dust settled, his mom went to him and apologized for yelling at him so much.

Came the reply " It's ok, Amma .. my teachers yell at me much more than you"

Ants ate my wound

Today, Nishu came by saying "Amma, ants bit my wound, and opened it up"

Background to this was us telling him not to pluck at his wound.. and let it fully dry. But maybe the itch or pure boredom didn't stop him and it has started bleeding slightly again.

And he now had to solve the problem getting some sympathy the pain, but not get scolded while at it.

You changed the color of my guitar!

Nishu's guitar lessons are half baked. That is, they have 'guitar' in it, but no 'lessons'. He barely does what I asked him to do, but does plenty in those sessions.

I used to tune his guitar based on a tuner his buddies bring. Then I realized that it was a semitone off compared to a couple of online guitar tuners.

So I tuned it using an online tuner.

A few days ago he picks up his guitar and says, "Papa, you've changed the color of my guitar!"

I stared at him .. and he explained " it used to be grey, but now you've made it white!"

I then remembered an earlier ramble from Nishu about how different notes were different colors.

Though I wondered if it was a coincidence or if he could really recognize a semitone difference in tuning..I then forgot about it until yesterday.

This time, I'd used a winamp plugin to reduce 'Sweet Child Of Mine' by a tone or so I could play the lead in my accoustic guitar without having to reach too high.

And I'd left that plugin on.

Seeing the laptop free, he started up his usual song ( he loves the GNR album 'Chinese Democracy' ) and again started complaining. "Papa, you've changed the color of this song too!"

I then reset the plugin, and he was happy.

Twice is less likely to be a coincidence. So, I suppose his brain one of those that associates music with colors. Googling, I found out its called 'Sound to color Synesthesia'.

Is that useful ? I don't know.

Welcome to Kara world

Recently the little guy came to dad, and introduced him to this place called 'Kara world'

Dad initially ignored that.. but Kara world increasingly comes into all conversations at home.

Kara world is a place that has taken birth to solve some of Nishu's pains/problems with the world.

Bangalore is very far from California, he knows - to his chagrin. He knows that it takes a long time to go back and forth. And he's even more troubled when his dad travels to California and stays there for upto 2 weeks.

So, here comes Kara world.

"Where, Kara world, Nishu ? "

"Kara world, is next to Bangalore, and also next to California"

Ah.

Why not Santa Clara or Cupertino, you might ask. He never identified the city while he lived there. It only became significant when he went away to Bangalore. And the songs he was crazy then about - 'Hotel California' and 'California Dreaming' probably contributed.

Anyway, back to Kara world. That becomes the wonderland of everything these days.

" In Kara world, the trucks are very big, and very clean "

"In Kara world, the firefighters are everywhere"

"In Kara world, there are lots of Lego toys"

Any new phenomenon learnt that doesn't show up easily, happens almost daily in Kara world.

We recently went to SFO Cable Car - a restaurant that has a San Francisco theme. All the pictures of San Francisco - including those of the 1906 earthquake triggered his imagination quite a bit.

There were some detailed questions - how long ago did the earthquake happen in California? How about Bangalore ? No Earthquakes in Bangalore ? How about rest of India? etc. etc.

Today came a revelation : "In Kara world a lot of Earth quakes , volcanoes happen"

"Actually, six earthquakes happened already there"

After reading about Tsunamis (usually called cinema), Kara world also has lots of Tsunamis. But with one difference - the trees in Kara world are pretty strong. The Tsunami can't destroy them. Also, Kara world has these people called 'Tsunami Fighters' . They carry guns with very strong bullets. They shoot them into the Tsunami, the waves get 'big holes' and the Tsunami goes away.

As the amazed Dad is busy documenting these wonders, in comes the son with fresh news.

"Hey Papa, I think the ground is shaking ... can you feel it ?"

How many things are in your brain?

Today ..coming back from tennis class, Nishu goes   

"Papa, I have 6 things in my brain" 

"Really, what are they ? " 

"Hm.. Fire truck, Airport fire truck, Police car, Ambulance..." 

"... Fire chief's truck, Rocket, Satellite, Fuel tanker .. " 

pauses for some counting " actually I have 8 things " 

" Garbage truck, Tractor, Backhoe ... " 

the list goes on until .. 

"Papa .. I have 21 things in my brain" 

"That's nice, raja..  21 things !" 

"How many things do you have in your brain ? " 

Not wanting to get dragged into this .. 

" I have less than 21 things, raja..  " 

"Really, less than 21 things? " 

A couple of seconds later, the question comes back 

" You have less than 21 things? I think you have more " 

..pause.. 

" I think you have more than that"  he concluded. 

The father was  relieved the matter didn't go further.  

 

We'll check the bank ... repel it ..

This happened sometime in 2006-2007.. the days when Bob the builder ruled Nishu's consciousness.
I needed to put a check in, and drove to the nearest Bank of America. Being a weekend afternoon, the little master also tagged along.
We got into the bank parking lot near the ATM, and out came the question.

"Papa, where are we ? "
"We're at the bank" 

"What it doos ? "

"Er.. we're here to put a cheque"

Anticipating the 'what is a cheque?' question, I was already wondering how to explain that.. when 

"Ok, we'll check the bank, hammer the bank, and repel (repair ) the bank" 

"??!"

"And the bank will be fixed" 

The momentary confusion cleared as the tune 'Bob the builder, can we fix it ?.. " played for a second in my head. 

I smiled at him   "Sure Nishu .. we'll hammer the bank.." ..

You did it by mistake, Papa ..

Sometime in 2006: Nishu is 4.5 years old.
I have this C size Herman Miller Aeron chair. Huge & Heavy - but got some quirks coz I bought it second hand from some Russian guy who wasn't exactly forthcoming on the 'things that don't work' .
Nishu was browsing google images for his truck pictures. He got the quotes wrong in a full word .. eg: '"" fire truck ' and got upset about the pictures showing up.
So, I slide over to help him type it right. But my chair wheel gets there first. It partially rolls over his toes.
He screamed in agony, and started wailing. I felt horrible about what happened. I apologized profusely, and tried to calm him down. Even my face probably showed distress. ( Usually I don't get too perturbed at his falls, bruises, fevers.. though I soothe him, etc. ).

Then, in between his sobs he said " No, papa. Don't feel bad. You did it by mistake.. its ok"

I didn't need to write this down to remember it, did I ?

Don't worry.. god will put ..

Evening of Dec 11, 2008: 

Avaneesh's brother Nischal was just born in the morning, and Avaneesh came to visit for the first time. 

He gives mom one good look 

"Hey Amma, what happened to your tummy?" 

"The doctor took out the baby.. (pointing to the crib).. go see your brother" 

"Oh... don't worry, God will put another baby in your stomach" 

If we could have taken pictures of our faces, we'd have been owners of priceless art. Goodbye coding, hello Sotheby's. 

[Another baby is VERY strongly out of the question for  us - doctors have forbidden it VERY vehemently.  So, that clearly is a blessing that we'd dread.]  

One of us recovered .. 

"heh .. eh .. uhm.. I think we have enough kids now, son. Come see your brother" 

There's a google in ...

Earlier today .. Avaneesh walks in with a troubled look on his face & holding his tummy. 

"Papa, there's a google in my bum"

"!!!?##?" was my dumbstruck response.

Once I figured out what he meant, I promptly dispatched him to the loo where he did relieve himself of his 'google' .   

So,  why did he say that? 

Google images is his browser homepage, and is QA'ed extensively for pics of cartoons, trucks, cars.. and youtube for videos of firetrucks, cars, and cartoons. But in his terminology that is 'using the computer' and not 'google'. 

Yesterday I suggested 'Why don't you use google to find the pictures?' when he had very specific questions about Orc & Ogre body parts/armor..etc. (He's my active audience when I play Battle for Wesnoth)

He nodded again that too-quick nod.  Clearly, the word stayed in his head without the meaning. 

So, why did he pick 'google' of all words in the world to indicate diarrhoea ? 

I guess the word had the right  'sound'. 'Google' is close to gurgle, gul gul.. ( which is an slang in kannada to indicate an upset tummy) . 

I bet this is one usage of 'google' that never was, and probably never will be!   

Dirty Horses ?

Yesterday Nishu came back from his cycling .. and came screaming to me.. 

"Papa ! Papa ! .. in that 7th main (road) .. " 

`Accident? I was thinking..` 

"horses have done kakka all over the road.. " 

I start to smile.. 

" I couldn't cycle properly at all .. there was horse kakka everywhere .. ! " 

"Ok, Nishu, maybe you should call the horses home.. they could do it in our toilet ? " 

He starts to nod.. then again shakes his head   " No.. no" 

"What else do you want them to do ? They don't have any other place to do it.. " 

Pause...

"They should go to the side of the road, and do it in the gutter"

The picture of a horse balancing its rear to aim for the gutter brought a smile ..

That got replaced with a video of many horses lining the road side all teetering on their hooves. Some were even whinnying with alarm. 

BBMP would definitely add an addendum to their dog shit on the road law.

Sigh.. wish I could draw cartoons or make a cartoon movie






 

Take this boy! (2006)

Age 3 (2006) 

Context: Nishu was in Rainbow Montessori in Sunnyvale. And in the second section he was in, he had two very tolerant teachers; Miss Chitra (Chitira to him) and Miss Miriam. It turned out that he would team up with a few rowdy kids and create a lot of ruckus. So, they tried to separate him from his cohort. One teacher would keep him, while the other kept his gang. 

So, he'd come back home and repeat whatever they frequently said. 

Miss Miriam, Take this boy!

Miss Chitira, Take this boy !

Anytime Anu yelled at him about something naughty he did, he'd repeat the same thing. 

I suppose it was something like 'similar conditions, so say the same thing' 

 

Expensil? Team ?

We were playing with a subset of his hotwheels collection. The game was about 4 rogue cars hitting the car I was driving, and all of them would end up being upturned. 

Then the firefighters vehicles(fire truck, fire chief car, etc. )  and police guys ( the SWAT van, police cars, etc. ) get there with all their cars/trucks. 

Because it was there and needed to be used, a dump truck also gets involved in burying a car that couldn't be resuscitated. 

 I was being given directions: "Papa, get those two white police cars here together. They're a team" 

"Whats a 'team', Nishu? " 

"A team, is .. like .. a red team, blue team, .. "   (heard it at school, I'm thinking) 

"Nishu, a 'team' means a group of people.. "

(hastily added)"or .. cars, that work together to .. get to a goal they all want to get to" 

Just as I was regretting my choice of words (goal ? - I'm sure he was thinking football) . .. he just nodded.

"Ya ya .. now, these cars.. " 

I interrupt again .. " So, what is a team ? " 

"Team is a group.. of ...people, cars.... "

I tried paraphrasing .. " yea.. a group that wants to do the same thing" 

"Ya ya... now you need to get these cars.. be careful, they're expensil "  

I couldn't help interrupt "...expensive" 

"Yea.. expensive.. " 

I say .. " expensive means costly" 

I get that too-quick nod again. 

"So, what does expensive mean? " 

"Expensive means, costly" 

"So what does costly mean? " 

"Costly means.. expensive" 

Again, I realized the folly of using another word he wasn't exactly clear on. 

"Costly means.. it takes a lot of money to buy. Expensive,  means the same thing  " 

There was a pause.  I think that registered. 

"Ya.. ok. get these police cars through here, and don't damage them.. " 

I nod happily - feel a sense of accomplishment.. of teaching while playing..   until

 

"..they are expensil " 

..Sigh.... 

Do you like Barbie ?

Date: Feb 9, 2009

(Context: Avaneesh is rather frustrated about his cousin sister Aadhya not wanting to play cars & trucks everyday. In fact, she has recently issued an edict 'No more cars and trucks in my house!' )

"Papa, are you a boy ? "

.. a millisecond later .. 

"Papa, are you a boy? "

"Are you a boy ? "

The papa, a bit too slow for his enthusiastic son, manages to turn his bulk around and reply 

"Hm... What do you think ? " 

   

A little pause while the little brain decides whether to continue wrangling on this, or go on to the real matter at heart.

"Ok, I think you're a boy" 

"Nice guess, son" 

"Ok, now tell me this - Do you like Barbie ? "

Papa pauses, sort of noticing that this was an important question. 

A helpful hint readily available, reminiscent of probably a soviet era GRU question to a citizen: 

"If you say you like Barbie, then I'll think you're a girl" 

 "Surely not, I don't like Barbie" answers the relieved father. 

 

"Yes, I also don't like Barbie" 

"Then what do you like ? " 

"I like Tom, Jerry, Donald duck, Ratta tooyee, Mickey mouse, Minnie mouse .." 

Papa interjects .. 

"But Minnie mouse also is a girl, and does girlie things.. how come you like her? " 

"No no no no.. Barbie only plays house, lots of cooking games, plays with girls only, and doesn't like cars or trucks" 

The cloud is clearing.. about who Barbie actually symbolises.

"Son, Barbie also has boy friends" 

"Really ? " 

"Yes, and she does other things than just play 'house' "  

"Ok..."

Papa continues probing..

"So, you  really don't like Barbie at all? " 

Now the son is a little slow to the answer .. 

"I think I like Barbie .. a little bit" 

"Thats nice son, I too like Barbie .. a little bit" 

Clearly, papa has been useful today. His face cleared, the son now ends that conversation.. 

"So, do you want to play cars with me now? "

Why a blog ?

This is going to be about things Avaneesh ( my elder son) says/does. 

He's made my past 6 years probably the best 6 years of my life. :) 

So far, the few times I've remembered to note down things.. I would put a couple of lines into notepad, and more often just bore my colleagues at Sidestep with stories about him. 

Now, I've forgotten most of them, and some of the notes I've jotted a little too quickly don't jog my own memory of the event that must have been really memorable. 

Recently a former Sidestepper was mentioning one of those stories, and I had no recollection of it.  

His own activities are beyond just text : makes weird drawings, songs, etc. that I'd like to capture in a different media, but bring it all together in something like a blog. 

Lastly, if there are folks other than me that are going to read it, I can't just scribble some unintelligible nonsense in a hurry and regret later.  

Should have done this earlier? 

True. I work in the same field, but that did more harm than good. Instead of simply penning a blog, I instead did a half hearted attempt at writing a 'Personal diary' desktop app that would keep dates and stuff for me of the entries i made. 

Stupid as stupid can be, you're thinking ? :)