You did it by mistake, Papa ..

Sometime in 2006: Nishu is 4.5 years old.
I have this C size Herman Miller Aeron chair. Huge & Heavy - but got some quirks coz I bought it second hand from some Russian guy who wasn't exactly forthcoming on the 'things that don't work' .
Nishu was browsing google images for his truck pictures. He got the quotes wrong in a full word .. eg: '"" fire truck ' and got upset about the pictures showing up.
So, I slide over to help him type it right. But my chair wheel gets there first. It partially rolls over his toes.
He screamed in agony, and started wailing. I felt horrible about what happened. I apologized profusely, and tried to calm him down. Even my face probably showed distress. ( Usually I don't get too perturbed at his falls, bruises, fevers.. though I soothe him, etc. ).

Then, in between his sobs he said " No, papa. Don't feel bad. You did it by mistake.. its ok"

I didn't need to write this down to remember it, did I ?

Don't worry.. god will put ..

Evening of Dec 11, 2008: 

Avaneesh's brother Nischal was just born in the morning, and Avaneesh came to visit for the first time. 

He gives mom one good look 

"Hey Amma, what happened to your tummy?" 

"The doctor took out the baby.. (pointing to the crib).. go see your brother" 

"Oh... don't worry, God will put another baby in your stomach" 

If we could have taken pictures of our faces, we'd have been owners of priceless art. Goodbye coding, hello Sotheby's. 

[Another baby is VERY strongly out of the question for  us - doctors have forbidden it VERY vehemently.  So, that clearly is a blessing that we'd dread.]  

One of us recovered .. 

"heh .. eh .. uhm.. I think we have enough kids now, son. Come see your brother" 

There's a google in ...

Earlier today .. Avaneesh walks in with a troubled look on his face & holding his tummy. 

"Papa, there's a google in my bum"

"!!!?##?" was my dumbstruck response.

Once I figured out what he meant, I promptly dispatched him to the loo where he did relieve himself of his 'google' .   

So,  why did he say that? 

Google images is his browser homepage, and is QA'ed extensively for pics of cartoons, trucks, cars.. and youtube for videos of firetrucks, cars, and cartoons. But in his terminology that is 'using the computer' and not 'google'. 

Yesterday I suggested 'Why don't you use google to find the pictures?' when he had very specific questions about Orc & Ogre body parts/armor..etc. (He's my active audience when I play Battle for Wesnoth)

He nodded again that too-quick nod.  Clearly, the word stayed in his head without the meaning. 

So, why did he pick 'google' of all words in the world to indicate diarrhoea ? 

I guess the word had the right  'sound'. 'Google' is close to gurgle, gul gul.. ( which is an slang in kannada to indicate an upset tummy) . 

I bet this is one usage of 'google' that never was, and probably never will be!   

Dirty Horses ?

Yesterday Nishu came back from his cycling .. and came screaming to me.. 

"Papa ! Papa ! .. in that 7th main (road) .. " 

`Accident? I was thinking..` 

"horses have done kakka all over the road.. " 

I start to smile.. 

" I couldn't cycle properly at all .. there was horse kakka everywhere .. ! " 

"Ok, Nishu, maybe you should call the horses home.. they could do it in our toilet ? " 

He starts to nod.. then again shakes his head   " No.. no" 

"What else do you want them to do ? They don't have any other place to do it.. " 

Pause...

"They should go to the side of the road, and do it in the gutter"

The picture of a horse balancing its rear to aim for the gutter brought a smile ..

That got replaced with a video of many horses lining the road side all teetering on their hooves. Some were even whinnying with alarm. 

BBMP would definitely add an addendum to their dog shit on the road law.

Sigh.. wish I could draw cartoons or make a cartoon movie






 

Take this boy! (2006)

Age 3 (2006) 

Context: Nishu was in Rainbow Montessori in Sunnyvale. And in the second section he was in, he had two very tolerant teachers; Miss Chitra (Chitira to him) and Miss Miriam. It turned out that he would team up with a few rowdy kids and create a lot of ruckus. So, they tried to separate him from his cohort. One teacher would keep him, while the other kept his gang. 

So, he'd come back home and repeat whatever they frequently said. 

Miss Miriam, Take this boy!

Miss Chitira, Take this boy !

Anytime Anu yelled at him about something naughty he did, he'd repeat the same thing. 

I suppose it was something like 'similar conditions, so say the same thing' 

 

Expensil? Team ?

We were playing with a subset of his hotwheels collection. The game was about 4 rogue cars hitting the car I was driving, and all of them would end up being upturned. 

Then the firefighters vehicles(fire truck, fire chief car, etc. )  and police guys ( the SWAT van, police cars, etc. ) get there with all their cars/trucks. 

Because it was there and needed to be used, a dump truck also gets involved in burying a car that couldn't be resuscitated. 

 I was being given directions: "Papa, get those two white police cars here together. They're a team" 

"Whats a 'team', Nishu? " 

"A team, is .. like .. a red team, blue team, .. "   (heard it at school, I'm thinking) 

"Nishu, a 'team' means a group of people.. "

(hastily added)"or .. cars, that work together to .. get to a goal they all want to get to" 

Just as I was regretting my choice of words (goal ? - I'm sure he was thinking football) . .. he just nodded.

"Ya ya .. now, these cars.. " 

I interrupt again .. " So, what is a team ? " 

"Team is a group.. of ...people, cars.... "

I tried paraphrasing .. " yea.. a group that wants to do the same thing" 

"Ya ya... now you need to get these cars.. be careful, they're expensil "  

I couldn't help interrupt "...expensive" 

"Yea.. expensive.. " 

I say .. " expensive means costly" 

I get that too-quick nod again. 

"So, what does expensive mean? " 

"Expensive means, costly" 

"So what does costly mean? " 

"Costly means.. expensive" 

Again, I realized the folly of using another word he wasn't exactly clear on. 

"Costly means.. it takes a lot of money to buy. Expensive,  means the same thing  " 

There was a pause.  I think that registered. 

"Ya.. ok. get these police cars through here, and don't damage them.. " 

I nod happily - feel a sense of accomplishment.. of teaching while playing..   until

 

"..they are expensil " 

..Sigh.... 

Do you like Barbie ?

Date: Feb 9, 2009

(Context: Avaneesh is rather frustrated about his cousin sister Aadhya not wanting to play cars & trucks everyday. In fact, she has recently issued an edict 'No more cars and trucks in my house!' )

"Papa, are you a boy ? "

.. a millisecond later .. 

"Papa, are you a boy? "

"Are you a boy ? "

The papa, a bit too slow for his enthusiastic son, manages to turn his bulk around and reply 

"Hm... What do you think ? " 

   

A little pause while the little brain decides whether to continue wrangling on this, or go on to the real matter at heart.

"Ok, I think you're a boy" 

"Nice guess, son" 

"Ok, now tell me this - Do you like Barbie ? "

Papa pauses, sort of noticing that this was an important question. 

A helpful hint readily available, reminiscent of probably a soviet era GRU question to a citizen: 

"If you say you like Barbie, then I'll think you're a girl" 

 "Surely not, I don't like Barbie" answers the relieved father. 

 

"Yes, I also don't like Barbie" 

"Then what do you like ? " 

"I like Tom, Jerry, Donald duck, Ratta tooyee, Mickey mouse, Minnie mouse .." 

Papa interjects .. 

"But Minnie mouse also is a girl, and does girlie things.. how come you like her? " 

"No no no no.. Barbie only plays house, lots of cooking games, plays with girls only, and doesn't like cars or trucks" 

The cloud is clearing.. about who Barbie actually symbolises.

"Son, Barbie also has boy friends" 

"Really ? " 

"Yes, and she does other things than just play 'house' "  

"Ok..."

Papa continues probing..

"So, you  really don't like Barbie at all? " 

Now the son is a little slow to the answer .. 

"I think I like Barbie .. a little bit" 

"Thats nice son, I too like Barbie .. a little bit" 

Clearly, papa has been useful today. His face cleared, the son now ends that conversation.. 

"So, do you want to play cars with me now? "

Why a blog ?

This is going to be about things Avaneesh ( my elder son) says/does. 

He's made my past 6 years probably the best 6 years of my life. :) 

So far, the few times I've remembered to note down things.. I would put a couple of lines into notepad, and more often just bore my colleagues at Sidestep with stories about him. 

Now, I've forgotten most of them, and some of the notes I've jotted a little too quickly don't jog my own memory of the event that must have been really memorable. 

Recently a former Sidestepper was mentioning one of those stories, and I had no recollection of it.  

His own activities are beyond just text : makes weird drawings, songs, etc. that I'd like to capture in a different media, but bring it all together in something like a blog. 

Lastly, if there are folks other than me that are going to read it, I can't just scribble some unintelligible nonsense in a hurry and regret later.  

Should have done this earlier? 

True. I work in the same field, but that did more harm than good. Instead of simply penning a blog, I instead did a half hearted attempt at writing a 'Personal diary' desktop app that would keep dates and stuff for me of the entries i made. 

Stupid as stupid can be, you're thinking ? :)